Conflict Resolution Method: Talking from the “I”
Conflict is often caused by the language we use, not the subject.
One of the biggest reasons a discussion becomes conflict is that we feel blamed, shamed, accused, or that unacceptable demands are being made of us by another. Our sense of self is challenged and we rise to defend it, and rightly so.
This problem is not exclusive to relationships, it effects the entire world. Look at any Social Media spat or gender based argument, most of the time they go in circles with accusation followed by defence of the listeners position because they feel targeted, and then they throw it right back in the same way. It then becomes a fight for dominance of the argument, and the fight becomes nothing to do with the subject matter. Any chance of solution has then become derailed, it has become personal. Then we become stuck in a loop pattern, returning to the same fights, with the same people, and getting nowhere when we do.