So you say your life is miserable?

Nothing I ever found undoes the root of our misery better than Vipassana.

SN Goenke based retreats are by far the best method, and I always recommend them to anyone. Sure, it is not easy and it is a lot of hard work, but our misery occurs because our life has been spent craving good things and feeling repulsed by bad things and that builds up over time into the inner existence of misery, which we then continue to feed with our endless reactions. There is no easy cure because of what we fundamentally are, and because of what being alive is all about — we are here  to experience life.

Anyone miserable actually needs to stop talking about it, and go find their nearest Vipassana centre, then go on a 10 day retreat, it is donation based so there is no reason to claim poverty and avoid doing it that way. Then come back and talk about their misery. Because there is nothing like misery to get people talking about their problems endlessly.

I think the best solution when someone wants to tell you how miserable their life is, is to put your hand over their mouth. Stop them speaking about it. Being miserable is addictive. Misery loves company, right?

So, go do Vipassana, and then you will have earned the right to discuss being miserable because you will understand why you are miserable and also, importantly, you will have been given a tool to deal with it. Until you have at least put some effort in to addressing the problem, shut up and stop moaning about it !

Vipassana Centers exits around the world, here is a link to find the nearest one to you –

https://www.dhamma.org/en-US/locations/directory

Conflict Resolution Method: Talking from the “I”

Conflict Resolution Method: Talking from the “I”

Conflict is often caused by the language we use, not the subject.

One of the biggest reasons a discussion becomes conflict is that we feel blamed, shamed, accused, or that unacceptable demands are being made of us by another. Our sense of self is challenged and we rise to defend it, and rightly so.

This problem is not exclusive to relationships, it effects the entire world. Look at any Social Media spat or gender based argument, most of the time they go in circles with accusation followed by defence of the listeners position because they feel targeted, and then they throw it right back in the same way. It then becomes a fight for dominance of the argument, and the fight becomes nothing to do with the subject matter. Any chance of solution has then become derailed, it has become personal. Then we become stuck in a loop pattern, returning to the same fights, with the same people, and getting nowhere when we do.

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